We've got one hour to go before the show starts, so I'll be with you then.
23:38: 411mania are reporting that the Unified Tag Title Match is off the main card. Because we need more time for Kid Rock and the rest of the celebrity nonsense rather than actual WRESTLING at WrestleMania. I was really looking forward to that as well.
23:51: The last few minutes waiting for the show to start are really bloody boring. There's not even anything else on to watch!
00:00: "No satellite signal is being received". This CANNOT be happening.
00:01: Scare over, although I may have paid for it twice now. We're LIVE and the show opens with the superstars talking about their memories of Mania.
00:04: Hall of Famer The Fink introduces that Nicole woman for the American national anthem. Meh.
00:07: Reports state that The Colons won the Tag Titles, when Primo pinned Morrison. MITB starts the main show.
00:08: JR, Lawler and Cole are the hosts. Can Jimbo carry two men for four hours straight?
00:10: What in the hell is Finlay wearing? Sweet Christmas!
00:17: Ballin' elbow off the apron! Nice!
00:18: Shelton Benjamin just hit a tope con hilo from the top of the BIG ladder to the floor. HOLY SHIT!
00:22: Kingston just climbed a closed ladder. That kid is amazing.
00:24: Unprettier off the ladder!
00:25: Obligatory Benjamin ladder running spot.
00:28: PUNK REPEATS! PUNK REPEATS! YESSSSSS! Fantastic ending sequence there. ***1/2 is my rating, and 1/2 for my predictions.
00:30: "I'm from Scunthorpe". And he got on TV!
00:31: Kid Rock. Please only let him do one song. Please.
00:34: Song number two. Rock looks like a geek with those glasses and that shirt. Can we have some more wrestling soon?
00:37: Ahh, the Sweet Home Alabama rip-off. This must be the last song.
00:40: Ten minutes in, Rock is onto song number five. And management wonder why Carlito dogs it in so often. And the Divas are coming down the ramp without even getting introduced. What a pile of crap.
00:43: And we have eliminations as Justin Roberts is still talking. Mae Young is the guest timekeeper. I think Santino is in the ring.
00:46: Santino is so winning this, what a damn shame. Final five are Melina, Beth, Mickie, Michelle and Santino.
00:50: Santino wins. Beth does not look too impressed. And I paid money for this, so neither do I.
00:51: ROH makes it to WrestleMania!
00:58: Legends v Jericho now, and the HOFers stop to hug Mickey Rourke on the way to the ring.
01:00: Piper just about hits a dropkick, nice effort for his age. Snuka is not looking good. ARMDRAGON! YES!
01:03: Snuka taps to the Walls.
01:04: Piper falls to the Y2Stinger. CROSS BODYBLOCK FROM THE TOP FROM THE STEAMER!
01:06: The Dragon is wrestling a blinder here. Roll up almost gets Jericho. Can we have this one on one at Backlash?
01:08: Codebeaker gives Jericho the win. Damn. Flair is going wild!
01:10: Jericho calls out Rourke. RAM JAM time?
01:14: Apparently Jericho has forgotten Mickey used to be a pro-boxer. Left hook puts Y2J down, but we don't get a Ram Jam. Boooo!
01:17: The Hardy Boyz EXPLODE, next! Oh, and because I forgot: ** for the Legends match.
01:20: Matt has bought some real tights. Jeff is still wearing the cargo pants. But is that enough for JR to tell them apart?
01:26: Matt is bleeding slightly, but he's got most of the offence so far.
01:30: Jeff kicks out of a Twist of Fate. They can't be near the finish already can they?
01:32: Jeff hits a splash through two tables, a chair and Matt to the outside. DAMN.
01:36: Matt wins with a Pillmanized Twist of Fate. These two really can't have a good match together. The 2001 match was a dull resthold-fest, and this was just a disjointed collection of spots. **1/2.
01:38: And my predictions are now 1/5. Oh, and Vince takes yet another shot at Hogan by having Cena give him the F... er, Attitude Adjuster on the Legends of WrestleMania advert.
01:40: JBL v Rey now. First IC title defence since WrestleMania 18 by my count.
01:41: Rey has gone for a Joker costume this year. How original.
01:45: Nice heelery from JBL as he boots Mysterio in the head as the ref is still explaining the rules. Rey is still in the match. Enziguri, 619, Splash, NEW IC CHAMP! Squash, no rating. 1/6 for the predictions.
01:49: JBL looks like he's going to cry, and quits wrestling. Looks like we've found Tazz's replacement.
01:52: Taker v Shawn is up next. This better be fantastic, because this card is circling the drain already.
01:56: In the following match, Shawn Michaels will be playing the role of "God". That is absolutely fantastic, utter heel genius. Nice of HBK to ease up about his Christianity as well.
02:00: Shawn lowered down from the heavens, Taker rises from the deep - SYMBOLISM WIN!
02:03: Taker makes it to the ring ins a sprightly (for him) 3 minutes.
02:19: I genuinely can't tell if HBK has injured his wrist and they're stalling for time or if this is all part of the match. Leaning towards the latter, because the camera man must have been a plant.
02:27: TOP ROPE ELBOW FROM TAKER! But HBK rolls out of the way!
02:28: SHAWN JUST KICKED OUT OF THE TOMBSTONE! TAKER IS IN UTTER, UTTER SHOCK.
02:35: And Taker gets the victory by countering a moonsault press into a Tombstone, and I get a second match right in the predictions! ****1/2. Utterly enthralling, with some great false finishes. Almost certainly match of the night, and a shot at Match Of The Year.
02:39: WHC Triple Threat match is up next. Looks like HHH is keeping the gold tonight.
02:43: Vickie Guerrero is back in the wheelchair, and Chavo wheels her to the ring. Err, why can't she walk now?
02:46: Basic Thuganomics is back, and we have an army of Cena clones. This would appear to be everyone under WWE contract on the ramp, dressed as Cena. RAPADOOOO! John-boy makes his entrance. Nice entrance, let's see if the match can live up to it.
02:56: Show gets unstuck from the ropes, and he is PISSED OFF. KNOCK OUT PUNCH TO CENA. Is this Big Show's night?
02:58: EDGE SPEARS SHOW THROUGH THE SECURITY WALL. Edge is up! Cena is rolled into the ring! ULTIMATE OPPORTUNIST! Kick out.
03:02: Cena and Edge team up. Foreshadowing a heel turn?
03:04: Attitude Adjusters to Show, and then Edge. Cena pins Show, and we have a new champ. My predictions are getting better. Cena celebrates in the crowd. Good match, especially for a Triple Threat: ***1/2
03:07: WrestleMania 26 will be coming from Arizona.
03:16: Impressive timing there. The Hall of Fame Class of 2009 are out on the ramp. Steamboat has found time for a shower and to get into his tux. And Austin is driving to the ring! BEER BASH! Austin and JR share a beer! Oh, Trips and Randy are going to love all that beer covering the canvas.
03:22: Vince, Shane and Hunter share a silent moment backstage. And the Champion's Advantage has been removed by Vickie. Interesting...
03:25: Nice all black trunks for Orton. I'm not sure I should say that in public.
03:30: Scott Armstrong is the ref. Good choice, as he has some credibility from his wrestling days, which adds importance.
03:32: RKO two minutes in! Punt misses! PEDIGREE! Blinding start.
03:44: The crowd are pretty dead for this match. Trips must be having flashbacks to 2002.
03:52: And Trips uses the hammer behind the ref's back - and your Backlash main event is...
03:54: Pedigree gives HHH the win. That was pretty lifeless really. I can't go over **3/4, in all honesty.
Well, my predictions were WAY out. As for the show, it was a bit of a letdown. MITB and the WHC were pretty good, and Shawn/Taker was amazing, but everything else was a wash. I'll go for a C+ overall, and recommend checking out HBK vs UT.